Modern gentleman?

Is that still a thing? I, and many others, think it is. Long gone are the days of being born a gentlemen and society at large has moved away from general ideals of gentlemanly behavior but for those who aspire to it and those raised to believe it's the way a man should conduct himself, the concept of the modern gentlemen is alive and well.

The next likely question is, what's at the core of being a gentleman? Is it being polite? Having good manners? An education, classical or didactic? Is it dressing a certain way? The answer, yes, sort of. I'll contend the most important gentlemanly quality is compassion, being concerned with the well being of those around you is the barest essence of gentlemanly behavior. That might be stepping up to help those in need or simply being sensitive to others social and political views and making an effort to not offend them. It's simple, be aware and give a damn about others. As early as the era of the Roman Empire we have known, manners make the man. 

In terms of manners it's an easy jump to consider that following a set of agreed upon rules of behavior could short cut figuring out how to look after and not offend one another. There are numerous books on this topic, and endless online articles and videos. While many people contend manners are no longer relevant, not many have anything bad to say about a mannerly person. One of my favorite sites on the topic is Sven Rafael Schneider's Gentlemans Gazette. A wealth of great videos and articles. The Art of Manliness has a good take on the whole thing too. This piece on talking about religion, politics and money is worth a read. Art of Manliness

It goes without saying, don't push your ideas on other people, but more importantly if you are striving to be a gentleman, you won't be pushing your political, social or other views on unwelcoming ears anyway.

While clothes certainly don't make the man, it's generally accepted that a gentleman tends to project a clean cut, put together image. Well dressed has a lot of meanings to a lot of people. Why it might be important is signaling behavior. Wearing clean clothes in good repair is a great start and adding things like shirts with collars, shoes that can be shined and learning to use and iron tell others that we care about our appearance and that they can expect a certain type of behavior from us. This makes our lives easier and helps immediately put those around us at ease. Your reputation may or may not precede you but your public image certainly will. Tell the world what they can expect from you and then back it up with gentlemanly behavior.

If the clothes don't make the man, money certainly doesn't either. You also can't buy class and whereas it's easier to project the image of a gentleman of class, it isn't the only way to do it. My grandfather managed to look the part in jeans, well cared for Oxford shoes and basic button downs paired with a decent watch. On work days it was a classic Timex that couldn't have cost more than $50. Anyone can pull that off even on a modest budget. If you aren't too proud to wear second hand you can up your game even more. It's possible to buy entire suits at thrift and vintage shops for the full retail cost of a new shirt.

We'll cover these and other topics in future articles along with things like reliable brands, investment worthy items and taking care of what you have.